Post Wisdom Teeth...

So its been a full week and a few days since the dreaded extractions.  I kept my teeth, apparently asking the surgeon several times to save them for me.  I have no recollection of this... Bizzarre.

I feel ok.  Still not back to myself.  I am really not a fan of change, disruptions, inconsistencies in my daily life.  I dont like not feeling like myself, and not being able to participate in my own life.  I was off work for a week, but I feel like I missed that whole week.  I dont remember much of it, and it definitely sure wasnt much of a vacation.  Oh well I suppose.

Orran was working overnights the week before my teeth were pulled, then I was home alone, and this week has been focused on getting back on track at work, at home and at WW.  Feel sort of out of touch with things.  Feel distant from Orran, and I really dont like that.  Snapped at him yesterday for dumb things.  Things that in the big picture, dont even matter.  I really need to get my schtuff together and stop treating people this way.  Would probably make our relationship better in the end.

So, I end my post today feeling bad about my actions yesterday, and ready for life to settle back into the norm.  I am ready to be myself again.

Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow tonight.  Goal is to not drink any beer.  Lord, if only that was possible....

Stuffed Mushrooms

These were yummy!  5 P+ for 5 medium sized mushrooms.

2 pkgs button mushrooms, washed
1/2 c italian seasoned bread crumbs
1/2 c shredded parmesan cheese
1/4 c extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp minced garlic
2 tsp worchestershire
1/4 c shredded mozzarella

Pre-heat oven to 400.  Stem mushrooms, and place stems in food processor.  Coarsely chop stems.  Combine all ingredients but mozzarella.  Stuff mushrooms with mixture, and place on baking sheet.  Bake for 20 minutes.  Remove from oven, top mushrooms with mozzarella, and put back in the oven for 5 more minutes or until cheese is melty and bubbly.

Nom nom nom.

I guess it really is bothering me...

LOL I just realized that yesterday's post was about my wisdom teeth.  It must be really bothering me, because that is what I wanted to write about today.  1 day closer to surgery... Hopefully it will be easy peasy.

Wisdom Teeth :( :( :(

Ok, kids.  I'll admit it... I'm afraid of the dentist!  So afraid, in fact, I think I'd rather have my leg broke than have my teeth cleaned.

I've been putting off having my wisdoms out since I was 16 (I'm almost 25, so you do the math).  They've finally flared up enough to where I dont have a choice, and they must go!

I'm scared senseless.  I teared up on the way home yesterday just thinking about it.  I have dreams about my teeth being pulled, and I wake myself up with apprehension.  Tuesday morning is rapidly approaching, and I want to chicken out SOOOOO bad.  But I must not.  I must be an adult.  Yeesh.

C25K

Well, ok so the C25K part isnt really a rant....

I started day 1 yesterday!  Orran is working a 6pm-2:30am shift this week at work.  On the one hand, its really sucky.  I dont see him before he leaves for work, and I wont sleep until he gets home.  On the other hand, I was amazed at how much extra time I had last night while I was alone.  I was able to do laundry, tidy up the house, do some recycling, start C25K and watch the Kings Speech!  (Awesome movie, BTW).

I love my Orran to pieces.  He's my world.  But I totally realized how much of my daily routine is consumed by him... Whether we are actually "doing" stuff or just hanging out.  I NEED him to find an hour or two a day to do his thing, so I dont feel bad about doing mine.  Or, if his thing = my thing (aka C25K), that would be fine too.

Maybe a goal will be to run a 5k by my birthday in November?  Hmmmmm....

Day 4 of WW...

I'm baaaaaaaaack!  Weight Watchers and I have this love / hate relationship.  I love it when I've got the motivation to move forward, and hate it when I see all the women walking out of a meeting and I'm afraid to even step foot in the door....

So, I guess here's to try #489789453189471 at losing weight.  Up until Saturday this past week, I've woken up every morning on a diet and ended up in failure every night.  Today is day 4 of what I **hope** will be my final beginning.  So far so good. 

In all honesty, I don't see myself getting to goal yet.  But that's like 40 pounds from now anyways.  For now, I am focusing on the 5%:  9lbs.  Baby steps, right?

I'm not writing this blog for anybody but me.  Maybe seeing my thoughts and feelings staring back at me will give me the motivation to move forward.  So world, here you go:  My starting weight this time around was 174 lbs.  Yeesh.  Allll the weight I had lost is right back on.  Awesome.

At 24, I've graduated college with 2 bachelor's degrees, have a house, a great job, brand new truck, a great family and boyfriend.  I have all the things anybody could ever ask for, except for a healthy body and self esteem.  Maybe I'm hiding behind the stuff?  Maybe all the goals and achievements I have reached have been a mask for what is really bothering me?  I dont know.  But I am prepared to find out this time around.

Its time to stop feeling bad about taking care of myself.  The time is going to pass anyway, whether I do something about ME or not.  Might as well give it a go.

So, fellow weight watchers:  it begins.  I'll make it a goal to write in once a week, even if its just a sentence.  Maybe I'll learn something about myself during this process I didn't already know.